Broken Oblivion
by InnerShadow
Summary: Max loves Fang with all her heart and soul. But Fang, as Max finds out the hard way, likes Iggy as more than a friend. Will this finally push Max over that edge she's been balancing on since Itex?


**Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride or anyone else EXCEPT for Tristan. He is MINE, all MINE and together we will rule the WORLD!!!!!!!!!!! muah hahahahaha**

I wrote this little one when I was all blah and listening to depressing music. This is a warning, Max does go all suicidal, so if you don't like that stuff skip that part. Also, I'm a Fax girl, but there is Figgy in this. Just a warning. Now, excuse me but I must go with Tristan to refine our plans for world domination.

I turned the corner of the hallway, grinning in triumph. I had finally gotten Nudge to shut it by telling her she had to pick strawberries with Gazzy and Angel. She had sullenly grabbed a basket and left, giving me some much needed silence. I grinned even wider at the sight of Fang's door. I had only just recently accepted my feelings for him, and every time he was around the others were too. I couldn't just proclaim these feelings that threatened to overwhelm me in public, of course.

But they weren't here right now, were they? I made up my mind to tell him now that I loved him and we could tell the Flock that much sooner. I was practically glowing from the happiness that was radiating out of me. I was only 15, and maybe some might say that what I felt for Fang was teenage lust, but they were wrong.

The need that had come from somewhere deep inside me when I was 12 was quieted. Part of it had slept as I had become a mother to the Flock, the part that screamed to me to have babies, take care of children, be a parent. The other half had been temporarily satiated by Sam, but when we move away from the disaster that was our stay at Anne's it had roared back to life. Now I would no longer feel that unexplainable need to be loved by a boy. The Voice had assured me of Fang's feelings, and I felt no fear. It had, in fact, been behind me the whole way. I was deep in its debt.

Yet, it was as I reached for the doorknob we had so carefully installed in our new Washington home, that the Voice chimed in with a cryptic warning, scaring the shit out of me.

_Maximum, do NOT go in there right now. Please._

_I'll go in if I want to I don't need any dumb Voice telling me what to do. Not now, when it helped me to find my love. You can't stop me from loving him. I'd die without him, ya know?_

_Oh, Maximum. I beg of you, do not go in his room right now. Please._

The almost depressed, resigned tone in it's words frightened me a little, but I shrugged it off and reached again for the doorknob. I swung open the door silently and moved into the room with uncharacteristic grace. I felt euphoric and content, expectant that he would love me too. It was as my gaze swept the room though that I realized Fang was nowhere to be seen. That was when I heard the gasp from the gap between his bed and the wall.

I should have left then, I see that now. Curiosity killed the cat and all. But it was so hard to resist, so I caved and walked over to sneak a peek. What I saw I will carry to my death, though that can't be very long now can it? I am after all the sought after Maximum Ride, ultimate weapon and trophy.

What I saw was Fang, lying on the ground, arms entwined around none other then Iggy, their lips locked in a passionate kiss. I felt my heart go numb and backed slowly out of the room, closing the door soundlessly, and turned to walk to the kitchen. Once there, something inside me, not the need but the place where the numb feeling had come from, urged me to pick up the large steak knife gleaming temptingly on the counter. I wanted to be rid of Iggy, but that was not the answer I knew. I quelled the thoughts of whether he would scream as I plunged the knife into his heart and twist, whether he would buckle under the pain or go numb like I was.

Instead, I walked out into the yard. I paused again, gazing at the woods before me. The kids were out in the other direction, so there was no way they would find me. All I could think now was that he children could not see what I was about to do. Not the children. Not my little babies. A perverse part of my mind wanted Fang to find me. To see what he had done. To see what I had done because of him, because of love, because of the need deep inside the darkest places of my consciousness.

I headed in the direction of the forest, running swiftly and leaving a rather obvious trail for him to follow. I needed him to follow. I seemed to need a lot lately. It was only when I got to a beautiful clearing that I stopped, dropping the knife onto the wild flowers. The meadow had as babbling brook, and was ringed by birches and willows. I would have loved it before, but now it was but suitable for my needs. It was as I thought this that the numb feeling went away. Time stopped in that second, and then I let loose an animalistic sob.

It sounded almost as though it was being ripped from me with a hook, and it scared me into more sobbing. I had not even known that such a sound was possible. But, there was obviously something wrong with me because nobody, not even other freaks like me, loved me. I threw my self at a strong looking birch, pounding it with my fists and ramming the top of my head into it.

How could he do this to me? How? I loved him more completely and fully then life itself! How could he betray me so! And with _Iggy_! What had I done wrong? Had I said something wrong? Made him mad?

_You did nothing wrong, Max. Nothing at all. Fang just feels differently about Iggy. The way you feel about him. Nothing can be done. Shhhh, sweetheart. Shhhhh. I'll always be here. I'll never go. Never betray you. I'll always love you Max._

_But why, WHY, would you tell me he loved me??? Why would you let me think that any of them would love me??? I'm not worthy of their love, and you let me think I was!!! I have done nothing to make myself worthy, unlike the others. How could YOU love me, stay by me always. It's not like I listen to you. _

_Max. I love you for the same reason they love you. You are sweet, kind, funny, strong, brave, and an excellent mother. You even came all the way out here so they wouldn't have to see you cry. I want you to be happy Max. Be happy. I'll always be here. _

_You won't always be here though. You won't always be able to help me. You're just saying these things to calm me down, I know it!!!_

_What are you talking about, Max?_

_The Flock don't love me. Angel, the Gasman, Nudge, and Iggy don't love me because I'm not their real mother but I'm always acting like it. I'm always bossy and I'm not even blood related to them. Fang doesn't love me. He loves Iggy. And you, you're only in my head. You can't hold me or wipe away my tears or even tell me your name. Who are you? If you love me truly, tell me that. Tell me that. _

_Maximum, my name is Tristan. I am 20 and am your guardian. I've been with you since you were 14, you were my first and only assignment. I am actually a few hundred yards away. I too have wings and superspeed, so I can keep a better eye on you when you start getting upset._

_But you're not here now._

Tristan may have been my loving guardian, but the need was too overwhelming. I couldn't live without Fang. Never, in a million years. I crawled through the mocking flowers and sunshine until I came across the knife. I smiled grimly, even as I heard the others screaming for me. They had heard my sobs. When they came, Fang had better do me one last honor and keep away the children.

Their calls grew louder as I sunk the knife into my belly. I yanked it out, not feeling a thing. Except maybe a little better then before. This took my mind off of things.

_Max!! Maximum!! No, stop, I'm coming, no!!!!!!_

_Tristan, do you know my favorite song?_

_Yes, Max. I do. Now hold on, while I come for you. Don't do it again._

I chuckled to myself. That Tristan, he sure was funny. I slashed above the first wound, laughing harder as the blood ran together. I pulled my shirt off, glad for once I had worn a sports bra. I slid out of my sweats, and cut just below the end of my under shorts. I cut Fang's name down one of my legs as the Voice - Tristan – screamed for me to stop in my mind. His calls and the Flocks were coming closer, but I lay back, content as I cut little hearts into my skin. I sighed in pleasure at the flowers that cushioned my head, thinking briefly what a picturesque grave I had made.

_Can you sing it for me?_

_Of course Max. Just hang on. I'm here now._

Poor Tristan. I hadn't been a very good assignment, now had I? I blinked in surprise at the form standing over me. H had black hair and piercing blue eyes that were filled with concern. He knelt beside me, cradling my head in his arms.

"Oh, Max, what have you done to yourself? Hold on, back up is coming."

I heard the Flock coming closer. I closed my eyes. Not the children. Don't let them see this. I remember last time. Not the babies.

"Don't worry, Max. I'll make sure. Sleep now Max."

Then, so softly it was as in a dream, I swear I heard Tristan's voice, singing softly above me, around me, in my mind. Singing my song.

_Once, long ago, said a proud old woman_

_Once long ago that proud old woman said she_

_I had four green fields, and each one was a jewel_

_But strangers came and tried to take them from me_

_My sons, they had sons who fought to save my jewels_

_They fought and they died, and that is my grief said she…._

These were the last words I heard before I gave into the dark and faded completely into oblivion.

If I get enough reviews, I may do a sequel in which Tristan saves Max and helps her recover. Please review, if you liked it or not. If you do, I'll be sure to return the favor. When I RULE THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!

Peace out man!!!!


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